When Out of the Spotlight
The main focus for this post is the question of personal integrity. Could be also attached to personal accountability as well.
Many heads of household do not understand the value of having integrity. Knowing and staying with what is known to be right. The lack of integrity means that when attention is not on you, short cuts are taken.
While this may look harmless, the sad reality today, with all that social media data mining, one can cut a corner for a short while before someone figures it out and blows the whistle on you. In other words, your sins will always find you out.
There is no point in being dishonest these days, even if it is very popular and some want it to be the norm. Trust is easily lost and broken when caught in a lie. There is a reason why many ask for authenticity and transparency. People want to know if there is integrity they can trust.
This integrity cuts both ways, even if the word has positive connotations. If one is consistently a liar, that person is to be trusted to lie in the future. While the word integrity won’t fit, the principle applies. They are liars and can be trusted to lie consistently (unless they have a change of heart and give up the art of telling lies)
The Focus on Men
The weekend this blog post is released is focused on men at the venue this writer is speaking at. What are men to do today. What is the value of a man in face of temptation. Not just sexual, but all temptations. The fact that the bible calls men out as the heads of their home puts a premium on the accountability of men. (with no discount on the accountability women have to have also)
This in no way takes away from the value of women as leaders in the home. It just means that women have been right to expect greater performance from men who sometimes feel the need to slack on the job
Without integrity, the home is lead by alternative facts that change to suit the person doing the spinning of facts. Had the head of household lived in integrity, there would not be doubt about their whereabouts and what they stand for.
In summary, living in truth and integrity minimizes a lot of the issues many couples face in their relationships as well in the leading of their homes. They don’t have to tell children to do as they say because their actions says differently.
They wouldn’t have to fight each other, as leaders of the home, to verify that what was promised was delivered. In a world of honesty and integrity, women would not have to check/confront other women around their husbands. Women wouldn’t have to check coat pockets for numbers. Women wouldn’t have to insure separate financial assets to protect the family from a man who can’t manage money. Just to site a few examples.
Furthermore, if one lives in integrity, one has no problem looking for advice and wise counsel. One knows how to assess their strong points and acknowledges their weak points to get help strengthening their week points.
Quick example. This writer is not good at being romantic. So, this writer uses the services of Google to look up ideas on being romantic. Why? The relationship works better when romance is alive and well. The children feel more comfortable when their parents behave well towards each other (assisted by romance). Instead of not doing anything, this author tries each year to improve the skill. Romance is an art. Why not imitate it best way possible?
What do you do when no one is holding you accountable
What one does in the dark, in secret, in private, and on their own time… says a lot about the character of said person. Those things done when there are no pressures to perform, builds the character through habit. Eventually, the habit will be so strong… one will forget themselves in public and do as one does in private. That is how many sinners get caught.
Why put yourself in the position of doing double work. One life in private, one life in public, one life at home. It is double the work. Not necessary.
For the record, just because you’re being authentic doesn’t mean you can’t be loving. Example, not all observations have to be told. There is a time, a place, and method to speak the truth. How you ask?
After a particularly tough week at work… after returning to work from maternity… a man should not see his tired wife… stressed out… trying to calm the crying baby… and feel now is the optimal time to remind his lady that he noticed she put on weight and should go to the gym… because she’s not turning him on as the mom.
yeah that is definitely not the time to be bluntly honest!
An authentic person would instead jump in and take over as many chores as possible to alleviate the stress of this mother. That’s what a real man would do. And as the recovery continues, this man would work with is lady to help her get back on her game (taking into account the fact hormones and all affects her ability to bounce back)
Only when the time is right, with loving encouragement, this man will ask his lady to join him in a lifestyle set of changes to keep the expanded family as healthy as possible. She’s smart, she got the message. But the love around the message gets the results. In time, everyone is healthier, and the weight issue is gone.
But, let’s not digress further. While we know some are very brazen, most will not tell their wives that they need to lose some weight in public in front of their boss. Why do it at home? That’s where the authenticity in integrity plays a huge role.
