Fundamentals
This blog post is in support of a presentation the writer is giving at a local church to empower the youth to stand up for their beliefs as well as doing the necessary work to keep pushing ahead towards their goals. In the family setting, the parents have the duty to help their children grow up to be productive citizens of the world.
Without having a base level set of beliefs, it is hard to move the needle in any good steady direction. Meaning, when one is not sure what they want to do with their lives, it’s hard to stay focused and get something done with one’s life. Especially when feeling boxed in by life’s circumstances.
The answers are not often very clear. Solutions are often very difficult to see. That’s why hind sight is so 20/20. The experience gives us the framework to judge if we did right or not.
However, in the moment, when a family is feeling a lot of pressure, finding the right direction to go is like finding a needle in a haystack. Or is it?
The Reaction Model
Most people will react emotionally to stress. Not because it’s bad, but because that’s the human reaction. It takes a bit of learning and maturing to know that a person can minimize reaction and increase pro-activity. While that’s great, in the heat of the moment, that does few people as much good as it could.
In situations that box a person in, finding a moment to pause and regroup is key. Most people do not understand this. They push and push and push to get out of their boxes. Most fail to realize that the lack of pause means the lack of situational awareness and assessment.
Example. If someone cuts you off on the highway while you’re in a hurry to get to work that you’re late for… the normal reaction is to get upset and lean on the horn. Others go a bit further than that. But what was solved? A quick emotional release? Some drivers, when they feel there is an “idiot” who is upset that they’re behind… will ease off the gas to slow down and “dig” at the offended driver. The angered driver now more easily slips into rage. Worse case scenario, someone is not making it to work that day.
It’s human to react. But most reactions are not ideal to get one unboxed. It takes a plan. Most animals who get cornered will take a quick second of pause to assess their options. Then, once the option is assessed, they go all out to successfully get out of that corner.
That’s why the saying about an animal stuck between a rock and hard place will fight to the death and usually win. Yes, highly paraphrased expression.
Most people miss that the animal takes a split second pause to assess their options.
