The Price

The children pay a big price. The homes pay. The community pays. The church pays. Everyone pays. This does not mean that we should go back to how things were. No one deserves to be treated less than honorably. We can’t go back to the time when women were not treated with respect. We can’t move forward in treating women well and now disrespect men.

Let’s paint an example. Picture two teens. One 15 year old woman and one 15 year old man. Who do you trust to babysit your child? If you ran a survey, one can almost safely assume that 99.99% of the response will say the teen woman.

Now, 15 years later. Both of them have their own child for the first time. Who has prior experience dealing with a child? Who has a head start? Who can adjust the quickest?

This does not mean the man is not capable. This doesn’t mean the man is an idiot. This only means he is many years behind his wife in terms of work experience. Both parents have much to learn. Both have much adaptations to undertake. The woman just has more exposure to several scenarios.

Sadly, many women berate their husbands in any errors they make in parenting. Same for any other activities around the house that a man may not have similar experience.

Many men have been teased for not knowing how to cook and clean yet many chefs and cleaning experts are men. Who runs the BBQ at the house most times?

Once a man feels he’s had enough and checks out, the wife suffers, the child suffers. A new cycle of absentee father starts. The children learn that a father is not really a thing. They grow up to not expect the presence of the male in their future families. Dad need not be too involved if at all. This pattern can quickly become generational.

The Real Price today

The work of becoming a man is that much harder today than it ever was. The headwinds are massive. The lack of support and models is far worse today than it was in the past. Men have to work that much harder to stay motivated and get support to learn how to be men. That is even assuming they had the chance to realize they can become more than they have seen modeled for them.

While there are many men who have silently made it, most men don’t share about their experiences with other. They’ve not seen models of how to do so. Once given an opportunity, the results tend to speak for themselves. Men do grow, they do blossom, and they do better.

Sure, mentoring is easy to write about. Getting a good mentor. Getting good support. Getting great advice. That’s work. Men today have to work that much harder at becoming gentlemen. The cost is so much higher that the easier way out is to go with the flow and be less than you can be.

Many guys will dive headlong into careers or sports instead of developing themselves into better men and fathers. They build more superficial friendships with other men instead of doing the work of building trust bonds that allow deep friendships.

The foundation of a community is the family(either genetic/marriage or self selected). With families crumbling in structure, communities are now feeling the impact. When communities start to feel less secure, the sense of security around towns, cities, states, and countries start to falter. People trust less. People are more suspicious. People fear the unknown and strangers more. Sound a bit familiar?

A society where everyone is respected and trust leads to more dialogue is the hardest of solutions to get. It requires a lot of work from the bottom up as well as from the top down. Everyone has to do their part.

Ultimately, men are just as valuable as women. That’s why God created them equal to begin with. They’re a team. Most teams are only as good as their weakest link. The fall of man has left the rise of women without the needed support of their partner. Sure, they can compensate, women are just that awesome. However, no matter how much you compensate, women can’t do this world without men just like men can’t do this world without women. (this accounts all gender preferences and relationship preferences… here’s why… this planet is filled with men and women. We have to live as equals together)