Before nuclear families became the norm, it took a village to raise a child. When we examine how modern first world families operate, it still takes a village, just some members are hired professionals. Nevertheless, no matter how small families have gotten, there is value to be found in all the branches of the family tree.
How CEOs of the homes connect with each other plays a role in how strong the network will be that helps raise the family on hand. The stronger teams usually end up winning in the long run. It’s about the sharing of information, today, more than the division of labor.
There is just so much information to keep track of today. So much to learn about daycare qualities to college admissions from first date to dealing with loss. Today’s modern family has more complex decisions to make under tighter time constraints.
The family network is even more critical than it’s ever been. It’s a network of networks.
To improve a family tree, improve a family’s network
Sadly, these days, there is quite a bit of division that exists. It could be something as simple as disagreements on politics to more complex issues like the splitting of a loved one’s estate. There are many reasons why families get torn or stretched apart.
Championships aren’t won with divided teams. There has to be a solidarity of trust that exist. Yet, we all know that some people just rub each other the wrong way.
It doesn’t help that there is this popular belief that you have to discard anyone who doesn’t elevate you or help you feel better. Some mask their sentiments behind well meaning words and platitudes. Sure, you’re the average of the five closest people you, but does that mean we have to throw away everyone and only keep five?
Really, the answer is no. That advice applies to who coaches you, keeps you on track with goals, and where you get your values from. While the family is a key component in this equation, it’s not the only.
CEOs of the home know that they have to have winning members on their team. You need a good financial coach, a great relationship mentor, a sound legal advice source, a spiritual beacon of light, and wise parenting influence. These positions are best filled by the best five people you can find. These may not be inside your family network.
That said, within the greater family structure, there is need for the CEOs of the home to build stronger connections across the family tree. Just like your nuclear family needs the best five people to help you, your extended family needs you to be one of their best five and you need them to step up and be part of the best five.
Why? Simply because it’s one of the best ways to ensure the legacy of each family within the tree. They have to know how to rely on each other as support.
Shrinking the house divide
There are a few key things each family needs to start their journey to success. They need trust, connectivity, and love. Most of that is dictated by experience and proximity. We build friendships most often with people closer to us physically. In other words, we most likely are best friends with someone who lives close to us than someone across the country or the planet.
Same goes for the family tree. The more geographical space, the more effort has to be placed to solidify the bonds. Thankfully, in this modern connected world, it’s easier to build and maintain connections with people who don’t live close to us.
The reason for this effort is simple… the better the family ties, the better everything is for everyone. Greater sense of belonging, greater sense of identity, greater sense of purpose, greater sense of loyalty. All these things boosts health on the physical, emotional, and mental levels. Even financial.
Even the sense of independence flourishes when not forced and allowed to grow in a safe connected familial environment.
All these perks require a degree of leadership from the CEOs of the home on every generation level. To teach one’s children to get along with others, the have to first learn to get along with each other, with their cousins, and their neighbors. This requires actively being involved in the formation of bonds the children makes…through arranging play-dates and other activities.
These skills aren’t just for the benefit of the home, these skills translate to the workforce, the school yard, the family BBQ, and the community in general.
How siblings in a family tree resolve their issues models a great example for their children and grand children. It’s part of the legacy of the family.
In order to keep bonds close or shrink the gaps that exists in between families, there is the need to look at the various rituals and traditions a family has. Most families rarely examine their traditions and rituals on a systematic basis. Such a review can reveal habits that draw families together or apart. Knowing these habits means we have the basis for change. Not knowing these means we’re bound to repeat the mistakes of the past habitually without knowing.
Example, if a family constantly runs into major falling outs over the holidays, it’s safe to there is are rituals and habits that’s creating this issue. The conscientious CEO of the home will examine these rituals and habits and do his/her part to effect gradual change so that the next generation doesn’t inherit these difficulties.
With teamwork and patience, a family can eventually face and reverse some of these unhelpful habits and resume having great holidays together that don’t end in tension and headaches.
One particular family once explained that the tension of cooking for such a large family was creating resentment and tensions that nearly destroyed the family tree. Given how large the family was and how far apart they lived, it was not reasonable to expect the host family to create the whole event. Their choice to have a middle ground resort host their holiday tradition greatly alleviated the pressures felt. Now, the holidays are very festive events with more traditions and less fighting.
One does not need to tackle all the issues of the entire family tree. All it takes is a little action to get closer to one branch at at time. Positivity is just as contagious as negativity. The difference is that negativity appears to spread faster but positivity pulls longer and stronger. It just takes a little longer to warm up sometimes.
Plus… as different CEOs of households start to work together and the results start to pour in, others will take notice. Change takes time. Actions payoff. Bring your family ties closer and closer over time. It is not always easy but it is worth it. Especially for the perks that comes with having a well networked family tree.
