Rick signed up to the series at his local church a bit too embarrassed to mention this to his friends or his wife Sally. As far as he could figure, it was going to be a bunch of lectures where he sat around and shared feelings. The very same thing he hated doing at home with his wife. Why did everything have to be around feelings/
Nevertheless, Rick needed his peace. The work stress was bad enough, add school on top of that, things got pretty hairy. The worse was the nagging though. Anyway, didn’t matter, soon, he’d have this class series under his belt and would know how to counter the nagging at home.
To Rick’s surprise, it was not a bunch of guys singing Kumbaya songs all day. It was actually a set of challenges. He got teamed up with an accountability partner and had to do activities and research. To add to his surprise, he even was given a contact with a school counselor who reviewed his course work and streamlined the future semesters for him.
What impressed Rick the most, the valuable insights into how his leadership was creating the environment he was living in. His value add was multiplied back to him by his wife. One of the coaches mirrored back to him his behavior at home and for the first time, Rick understood why his wife was constantly upset with him. He would have been even more upset if she came home with that kind of attitude every single day.
Towards the end of the series, not only did Rick have new skills, he was now responsible for teaching another younger man how to navigate his own emotions. The mentoring helped Rick better internalize the lessons and made the meetings fun. There was another guy looking up to him to perform well.
The funniest thing happened at home, his wife started catering to things he thought he’d never have in his home. The kinds of things he missed from when his wife was just his girlfriend. The bonus however, with a marriage license, the sweetness lead to even more amazing sweetness 😉
Rick was so glad he had not tossed the evite out and checked out this wonderful tribe. He was no longer alone. He was part of a tribe of excellent gentlemen!
See One, Do one, Teach One
The motto often used in a particular industry is “see one, do one, teach one” is very applicable here to the Men’s Ministry. The ability for knowledge to be shared through coaching is the foundation of the department.
People often do not expect to come to church or any other social center just to sit in class and learn how to be who they need to be. Let’s face it, men will not come to a classroom to learn how to be men. It flies in the face of being a man. Men should just know how to be men, how to be husbands, how to be boyfriends. They just do, right?
It’s more about how you do
The way most guys bond over a basketball game is built around learning from seeing. That young man who sees his elder peer dunk is a classic form of learning through experience. As the young man sees, he tries, perfects, and then, shows off his new dunk skills to other young men.
He saw, he did, he showed the dunk!
That is how mentorship and eduction works at it’s best in the Men’s Ministry. By working together and learning from each other, men will easily pick up new skills and habits that will make their ”game” better. After all, the highly imperfect and flawed locker room model is how most men discover the ”game” of chasing women.
Let’s bring out the closeted talks, put value behind it, and open it up to all men with accountability of the governance of the church body. The dialog will be open and help guide the process by which men become the models God has intended them to be.
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